BY Ptr. Dante & Cyntha veluz
Q: “I have said, ‘Enough is enough!’ too many times but now I made my final decision to leave my husband after more than 15 years of so much pain and trouble. All love is gone and I want to be free to start my life afresh in another place. We are the most incompatible couple and we have been fools to stick together that long. Our personalities are exactly the opposite. I am a hard worker (I take care of our business) while he is flippant. He is slow, insensitive, irresponsible, and would not give up his vices so I cannot help but nag him, yell at him and even curse him when I get so mad. I have no respect left for him. We never agreed on any decision in raising and disciplining our children, in business, even in small things like choice of furniture. Nine out of ten times, our house turns into hell when we fight. In the past we tried to confine our quarrels inside the room so our children will not hear but now we couldn’t care less if we fight in their midst. We are just lucky they did not turn out abnormal. Right now I really do need comfort and an ear to listen.
A: We know that you are in a very precarious situation so we would like to start off with a prayer for you: “Our Father in heaven, You know what this woman and her husband have been going through, because nothing is hidden from You. You are the Great Comforter and Healer so we ask in the name of your Son, Jesus, our Lord, for You to send forth Your Holy Spirit to comfort and heal her of her wounds. Nothing is impossible with You, Lord! We ask for Your miraculous touch upon this couple and for Your peace to be upon her and her husband in Jesus’ mighty Name! Amen.”
You did not mention if you have already sought professional or spiritual help. We believe that before you do anything drastic you should consult a counselor who can walk you through your problems. It is best if you both can sit down with him or her to share your and his side of the story. It is not that we do not believe yours; but in order for the counselor to be objective, he has to hear your husband’s side, too. But of course willingness from both sides is necessary. We hope you will think about this.
You seem to be so distraught and we agree with you that you need to get away… but not for good. Right now is time to rest to think things through. You can take a vacation where you can first and foremost, seek God. He is the Real Problem-Solver. In Him you can find the peace and comfort and wisdom that you need. We suggest you go to a place of retreat for your soul where it is close to nature and of course, close to God. Speak to Him, open your heart to Him, and complain to Him because He listens. Confess your need for Him and His Lordship over your life. This gesture opens your spirit to be in tuned with His Spirit. Bring along your Bible because God often speaks through His Word. Meditate on His words especially the parts where He speaks about marriage (Genesis 2, Malachi 2, 1 Corinthians7), about His commands for husbands and wives, (Ephesians 5:21-33) and the Book of Psalms, the Book of Proverbs. Allow the Lord to saturate you with His love and enjoy His presence.
Then come back to your family renewed and refreshed. By that time we are sure that God will have already given you a new perspective in life, coming straight from His throne room. We chose not to comment further on the situation you presented to us because you probably tried to do a lot of things but failed. This whole new way will work wonders for you. Try it because we guarantee this to work just because God is real and He is alive! Remember, nobody loves you more than Jesus does. Shalom!
To our readers: you may call us or write to us at our address above-stated or email us at danteveluz@gmail.com or you can channel your feedbacks or problems through Philippines Today.
REV. DANTE & CYNTHIA VELUZ
Authors & Conference Speakers
On Marriage and Relationships and
Certified Marriage Specialists
JESUS IS ALIVE FELLOWSHIP (AG)
414 Tennessee Street, Vallejo, CA 94590
Sunday Bible Study, 9:30AM; Worship, 10:30AM
For prayers, (707) 334-4043, (707) 553-1285
